End of Day Journal (5-14-2010)

Summary of the day:

The account is down $365 end of day. Lots of opportunities to make money this morning, fear dominated my trading today. Did not trust my instincts, waited on entires, and delayed exits. No doubt about it, this week has shaken my confidence.

As a new trader I find myself in this weird place: trying to find this balance between confidence, i.e., proving to myself that I can do this, be a trader, yet realizing that I have a lot to learn and trying to maintain an open and humble approach. And trying not to lose too much money in the process. The balance is fine - I don't have much money to lose, so I want/need to make sure this works - yet being comfortable with losing - or - the emotional separateness that comes from being comfortable with losing, seems to be the key to success. Heh. Go figure. Seems the odds are against me/us.

Yesterday was a stressful day, and I didn't enjoy trading, I entered positions and felt myself hoping for the swing. What an emotional trip. I didn't take a break yesterday, or get my regular workout in. And the night prior I spent pouring over charts. After 4.5 hours of sleep almost every night this week, I am sure everything was taking it's toll.

It struck me as I was out walking with my wife last night before supper, beautiful evening, my wife was looking so fine and enjoying my company... and I was obsessing about the day's trades. This is not why I took up trading. I took up trading for the opportunities it offers to provide to enjoy the rest of my life.

Hard work is one thing, but from what I know of successful traders, trying to find the holy grail - or the one secret to unlocking all of this - is not the answer (excellent example here). And nearly every time I go back to charts and indicators, that is what I find myself trying to do. So no more. Reading charts is easy - the real struggle is the mind game. The charts I post are only for evaluative purposes - don't expect to learn much from them. They are a way for me to try and get back into my head.

And so now I obsess about not being obsessive. Meh.

Paper trading on Monday - and I am going to trade out the wazzoo. I know how to do this, I just need to believe that I can - I need to show myself that I can. Waiting on entries and exits - thinking about it too much - is what cost me today. Be in the market. Respond to the flow. I don't want to be a good trader - I want to be an excellent trader. Practice makes perfect. And practice in this game is all about trading. Well, that is the theory anyways.

The day's trades and what was going on in my head are below.

Have a great weekend!

The Details:

AEM is a 'what if'. Good grief. First trade of the day, and I went short as it broke a new low, plenty of market support (2:19 mark). I got stopped out the next candle over. The long retrace should have been the signal to jump right back in. It kept going down. Finally a long doji on the 8:10 mark and breaking lows again with plenty of market support (0:53 mark). Stop was just above the wick - especially generous and ouch. I shorted again 30 seconds later as it retraced (3:56), it went down for a bit (18 ticks at best) then came back with a nice long green to stop me out. Another ouch. Shorted again (3:14) with a  stop above the wick and a final ouch. All of these entries were lacking supportive/substantial stops, I think the market momo warranted the entries but there was not enough S/R  (-$456.33) (0/4 good entries):

Look at BID. I watched it trend all the way down and sat on my hands. I finally went short on the new low and actually had some direction (0:32), err... a whole 6 ticks. Generous stop (poor entry) and it touched. Shorted again past the green long wick doji (0:27) with the same stop - and the first candle got pretty close. Exited on a discretionary and missed the long candle. Later shorted again (2:42) and closed on a discretionary  after it showed some profit. The last entry was after a 15 minute doji, but it was the tale end of the new 15 minute forming, bad entries all around  (-$69.61) (0/3 good entries, for 0/7 total):

BIDU - shorted on the new low - I watched it cross, then watched it go down, and finally jumped on board. Plenty of market support (4:12). Down it goes. Then back up as I sat on my hands. Exited way too late. Even with the late entry the trade was at 62 ticks positive. I could of reversed, but I lacked the confidence. Shorted later with the market (2:04) and waited too long for that as well (+$87.59) (2/2 good entries, for 2/9 total):

CMI coming off a 15 minute doji and breaking local prompted the short (0:31). Umm, yeah... I know, I know, why didn't I sell? No good answers (-$57.48) (1/1 good entry for 3/10 total):

CSTR was headed down, with long wicks (1:11, last bar of the 15 which ended up being a doji) Short and stop. I should not of taken a position on this at all, I should of come in on the retrace. I shorted again later as it broke thru the EMA (4:45) cand came off of a doji and red 15, and it retraced and stopped again. Later wen long after a 15 minute doji (2:31) and scalped as it fizzled. This entry was late on the mark, but after the long wick  on the candle preceding, it was probably a bad decision (-$188.75) (1/3 good entries, for 4/13 total):

Long on IWO (1:13). Looking at this I see no reason to enter... I wonder if the charts changed? (+$39.77) (0/1 good entries, 4/14 total):

Shorted JOYG as it came off of the spike - I shorted on a red candle (0:30), which backtracked and turned green. The 15 started as a doji and came off of a long wick hammer. Finally got a decent exit. Shorted again later based only on the fives (3:12) and waited too long to exit (+$342.56) (1/2 good entries, 5/16 total):

Long on SLG (0:33); new low, and no market support. No idea what I was thinking, the Q's may have been heading green. Stopped out. (-$39.67) (0/1 good entries, 5/17 total):

Shorted SNDK as it came up for air on the way down, just didn't let it come up enough (4:27). Stopped out (1/1 good entry, 6/18 total) (-$69.50):

I tried to short TNA on what looked to be a breather and as the market was heading lower (0:04). Turns out I was wrong and I let it stop as everything started going up. I started scalping. That is what happens after getting burned all day (+$210.54) (7/13 good entries, 13/31 total):

V. Late on the short; everything else was good (3:43). I reversed on a green candle (1:20) just under the stop - which happened to be as high as it got. It went down from there and I got stopped. Shorted 13 seconds later with a discretionary close. Tried to go long as it hovered on the EMA, stopped (-$74.64) (2/4 good entries, 15/35 total):

WLT coming off of a 15 minute doji, but already 7 minutes into the next candle (2:11). It went down for a bit and I got stopped as it retraced and turned green (-$90.01) (0/1 good entries, 15/36 total):