Summary:
I spent the day paper trading and fell into what has pretty much become the routine: great entries, lousy exits. for example: I came in short on ABX on the 8:30, doubled up, then out on the 8:45. This was a good trade - in fact all the entries mirrored Scott's, but he held until it really turned. I got out and tried to go long and ended up losing half the profit on the subsequent stop.
I had several trades like this - mirrored Scott's entries on TNA and QLD but then I was shaken out and tried the reversals.
What does this mean? I don't know. It has to be good that I am spotting the entries; it would seem a simple matter of reversing the approach and nailing the exits. Pfft.
Scott (I am going to call him my mentor, whether he knows it or not =) ) sets an incredibly high standard; and as he explained in his reply comment today - an incredibly simple standard. High standards are great, and I personally have always set high standards for myself. But with this trading thing, I am not so sure. Scott has years of experience to draw from; I don't. I compare my trades to his (setting the standard) and it is incredibly discouraging.
And this is paper trading. Good grief. It is beating me up and turning me inside out. I am exhausted; worn out and ready to quit. This can't be healthy.
Ok - on the bright side - I can keep paper trading till I am blue in the face. On one hand I should be grateful that there is such a psychological connection, perhaps all this practice will make the transition to live trading that much easier. And I have the freedom to practice indefinitely into the future. Of course, the sooner this works the better, but financially I am set to go. Those are all things to be grateful for. I don't need to get this overnight, or in 2 weeks, or in 1 year; as long as I can hang in there. The problem is, I wanted this to happen yesterday already.
This is turning into a pep rally. It is hard for me to understand the emotional/mental connection to this trading thing, but days like today are devastating. Go figure. How to make this dis-connect and let this thing happen. Perhaps a break is in order.
But - every day of practice is another day of experience. Charlie D. said that it takes about 4 to 5 thousand trades before a trader as experienced the vast majority of the situations that the market has to offer. Costa Rica might be the break I need to get back on track, but until then I plan on slogging thru it all via paper.
Funny - I have had some fantastic days. I just can't seem to keep it up. If I could somehow harness and corral those good trades.
I am tempted to put the 30 tick profit target on. Scott says I shouldn't. As a compromise, I am going to paper trade the way I have been, trying to learn and react to the market, and use NT's shadow strategy feature to try out the $0.30 profit target. This will give me a comparison and perhaps a benchmark.
The mind game is incredible.
Sleep well. Trade well.
nice post. you have me wondering myself, was it worth it to lose money over the past year when i could have just paper traded. i know when i first started, the paper trade didn't emulate the real feeling i got when i traded with real money a few months later.
ReplyDeletebut now, when i paper trade sometimes, i really feel like it is real money on the line and i get emotional about it. maybe i will futz with ninja trader the rest of the week and paper trade as well. there really is no point in losing real money until you can consistently make money paper trading. i think it was beneficial to lose the money over the past year because it makes the paper trading seem real now, if that makes any sense.
i might be annoying you tomorrow about how to set stops on that ninja trader. that was the only thing that i was having trouble with.
Annoy way bro =) No problem at all, let me know if you need some help.
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