End of Day Journal (1-5-11)

Summary:

Paper trading on 100 shares:

Up and down.

I realized today that my approach has been pessimistic (today and yesterday). The thought process is... camouflaged... it goes something like: "Ok - I can do this. Expect to lose a bit - but it's all right I can make it up later. Don't let it faze you."

Then a price moves - and I think - where there is movement there is potential for profit. Hop on. I am not quite sure how to explain this. It is almost as if I leave my sense of focus somewhere and simply try a trade out. Some of this is done in the name of 'probability' - "You never know what will happen, and you can't win if you don't play." At the same time there is an over-riding sense of doom: "Watch, my entry will be at the worst possible time." And immediately comes another thought "I have to be prepared to lose - it is the cost of doing business, so go for it."

My EOD reaction to this thought process is "Just don't be stupid." What makes this extremely hard is that my thought process in the moment justifies my entry with some good solid trading philosophy (probability and cost of doing business). I want/need to believe/acknowledge the good stuff, and I need to do this more and more (because it isn't second nature yet). Part of making the good stuff real means implementing it - so I decide to believe and act on that belief by making the trade (thinking this will reinforce the good stuff). And - I make a bad trade.

Funky.

Anyhoo - I have been reading a sports pyschology book (can't recall the name just yet) and mean to work on the excercises. Part of my problem is focusing on what I don't want to happen - because I don't want it to happen. And sure enough, I make it happen. A good analogy - water on a golf course. Some golfers will take out an old ball as soon as they see water. Guess where the ball goes? I can see more and more that I need to focus on the positive outcome.

I have decided that I will not trade when I feel like I did today and yesterday. Capture that. Remember what it feels like.

Tired and a late post - I generally post with FF and for some reason the population script was not working correctly and I couldn't bring my post up to edit or start a new post. After about 4 hours I tried Chrome.

Trade well.

Details:

Posting 5 minute charts today.